Checking back in…

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Hello once again! If you have noticed I took a bit of a break. Actually you might call it I was an extended leave. I know that it looks poorly on my business and my writing. However, I will explain what has been going on with me and why I took the break.

I will start this conversation off by stating for the record, that all of my plans for this year went out the window. That’s write, all of my goals that I had setup for myself this year and my writing have not actually taken place. Yes, you can shun me for this but on the other hand, I have been taking care of myself for once.

Needless to say, that as writers we need to not only take care of our craft but we also need to take care of ourselves in the perspective of mind, body and soul. When it comes right down to it, I wasn’t doing that in the past, for I was more focused on writing and in away not taking care of myself, my creative process and my writing was suffering for it. But it was also hard to take care of my creative process, when part of our community has been hurting others in the community that have been doing the right things.

What has been taking place in our community was another reason why I needed to take a break as well. Sorry, the negativity that has been going on was just enough for me to say that I needed to take a step back and focus on my life away from writing. This is not to say that I’m giving up on writing. Hell no, it just means that I needed to take a step back and ask myself is focusing on the negativity helping me or my audience and the answer is no. Therefore, I need to step back and look at the world of writing from two different angles.

There is the angle of the negativity and the angle of wanting to help those within our community. I enjoy the fact that I want to help others but when that gets impacted by the negativity that is taking place then it really doesn’t seem that I am helping those that want to get into our community. Let alone me.

Yes, I wanted to give my input into the various situations that our community is currently facing, but at the end of the day when the drama is becoming the fecal point of my message that I’m putting out there then the scale is tilted towards the negative and not so much towards the positive.

Therefore, I want to change that. I want to focus more on the positive than the negative. Furthermore, get back to what I enjoy most about what we do and that is to write, create and above all let me mind feel the freedom once again that comes from exploring our world that is writing.

So here is where I’m confessing my cardinal sin, yes, while I have been on this break, I have done some writing but not a lot of writing. I mean I have not sat in front of my computer on a daily basis writing. There are times when I didn’t write for weeks at a time. One of the main reasons, is life is getting in the way. Yes, I’m still working on the balance between life and writing. But every once in a while, I would take out a sheet of paper and I would write. It wasn’t great writing but it was writing nonetheless.

Yes, there are projects that I still want to work on, focus on and finish. I’m just not doing that right now. Granted, I still need to work on one project at a time and call it good when the draft is totally finished. Yes, this is still a conquest for me, which one day I hope to rectify. However, I’m not there yet as I’m still trying to find a way to justify to myself why one project is bigger than another.

I know that you are now asking yourself to me, “If you haven’t been writing, then what have you been doing?”

The answer is simple, living. I know that sounds very obscured and truth be told I’m not finding that it is not enough without writing. Yes, I’m still working crazy hours, which doesn’t help at times. However, on the other hand, this year so far, as given me so much to be thankful for. One of those blessings is that I’m in a relationship with a really great guy. Yes, I have a boyfriend and I am thankful everyday that he is in my life, in my world and above all that he is with me and I am with him.

Let me preface this part of the conversation with, if you had asked me on year ago would I be with a great guy, I would have answered no. Granted, I have known him over a year now but our relationship started at the beginning of this year, and everything about it has been wonderful. I’m happy to say that I’m with someone who loves me for me and not wanting to be with me just for the sake of using me as a means to an end. This relationship is healthy, beyond words and it is one the reasons that I can say that I’m back.

The relationship that I have, is one of the biggest reasons why I’m not wanting to focus on the negativity, and wanting to look at the positives that we can see when it comes to writing.

I can honestly sit here and say that I have missed writing, and I have missed posting about writing, working on my craft, and looking at videos on YouTube about writing. Yes, I want to do things differently this time around, but on the other hand. There are also things that I don’t want to do differently as well. There’s a balance that I need to find and I feel that we all need to find it rather we are blogging, learning or just writing in general. Everything has a balance and for a while my balance that I had going on here was really off the scale, like one dish was up higher than another.

Yes, I talk about finding the balance a lot but the reason for it is when we are in perfect balance things can go right for us, but when we are unbalanced then things tend to be off sync. When we are off sync we don’t focus as well as we should or we don’t use our best judgement. Right now, without writing my off balance and that’s even with my relationship. Therefore, I want to merge the balances that are my life and my writing into one. I want them to be balanced, which also means making or finding the time to write given the craziness that is my working life.

However, even with trying to find the balance I’m in a good space in my life. I’m happy. I’m in love. I’m finding more of the confidence that has been missing from my life. But all in all, I’m good. But I do have to admit that I have missed my blogging time and I have missed interacting with my readers online. But I needed a break. Yes, we are supposed to admit that we were bad for taking a break but in this instance I’m not sorry, that I took the break. It was very much needed among other things. But I’m back this time and am working on finding the clarity that leads more towards the positive and not so much towards the negative.

Therefore, with that in mind, there are topics that I want to cover and to share with all of you again. I will make some amends for leaving, but in other ways I’m not this time. It was needed to give me focus and to look at all the amazing things that I have going on in my life, as well as what was missing from my life.

On that note, I will end this post. I hope that you all have an enjoyable writing day! Happy writing and happy creating!

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